Preparing for the Fall Transition
Special Topic Update from Clinical Director Lana Farina: Preparing for the Fall Transition
Sixteen months ago, the pandemic thrust us into a world of uncertainty and unpredictability, with families having to adapt to ongoing changes with little time to prepare. For many, adjusting to changes in job responsibilities, working spaces and living arrangements while arranging for students to learn at home became the “new normal”.
With great admiration and pride, we watched our resilient Stevenson community face these challenges head on. Parents and students quickly adapted to the transition to remote learning and then to the hybrid model this past year. We watched students flourish in the classrooms, reconnect with adults and peers, and support one another in the school. Students followed safety protocols, connected in small groups, and wrapped up the year with a field trip. Our seniors were able to enjoy a special luncheon and live graduation. Our summer school program, currently in session, marks our transition back to full in-person learning.
Whether students have worked predominantly at home or in school this year, we can expect our transition back to school in September to be an adjustment for all. We’d like to take this opportunity to share some thoughts about supporting our students, including some tips about things you can do now and over the next several weeks leading up to September.
Anticipate and be prepared to respond to anxieties.
Even before the pandemic, the start of a new school year is a common source of anxiety for many students. This fall, we can reasonably expect this to be intensified by concerns about safety, readjusting to schedules and routines, interacting with others, and re-engaging in learning. Students who spent their bulk of time learning from their homes last year undoubtedly became accustomed to their own “new normal” of spending most of their time at home and around their family. It may be challenging for them to leave these comforts and sense of safety and venture back out into the world. Students who struggled academically may feel concerned that they have fallen behind or may not be able to catch up. Relationships with peers may have changed if students struggled to keep up with social connections or have friends who graduated.
Students who worry about the safety of returning to school may need reassurance that it is safe for them to return to school. At the same time, we want to reiterate the importance of continuing to be careful and following safety precautions. While it may be tempting to tell your child not to worry or reassure them that everything will be fine, this can lead to accidentally invalidating their experience. Even if it is difficult or uncomfortable to put yourself in their shoes, try to validate something, like a feeling, or let them know that what they are thinking makes sense. For example:
Student: “I don’t want to go to school because I didn’t learn anything in math last year and I’ll be humiliated if I go to class”.
Parent: (Thinking to self, “But I know you learned some things in math last year. I think you are psyching yourself out”.) “You’re really worried that you didn’t learn enough in math last year. It makes sense that you don’t want to go if you think you will be humiliated. No one likes to feel humiliated.” Then, if they feel that you get it, it may be easier to follow up by encouraging them and reminding them of the supports available at school
2. Stay connected and check in with your child.
As a parent, you know your child the best. Even if they share less with you as a tween or a teen than they did when they were younger, keep the lines of communication open and be on the lookout for any significant behavioral changes. If it is tough to engage your child in a formal discussion, check-ins can be casual too and happen during a drive, a meal, or other activity. If they say that everything is “fine”, yet you note they are having trouble sleeping and don’t want to leave the home, you can gently reflect that discrepancy back to them and normalize that many others are struggling as well and it is okay to talk about. If they still do not want to talk about it, you can invite them to talk about it at another time (as long as it’s not a safety issue) or see if they prefer to talk to someone else like a therapist.
3. Resume activities.
Summer is a great time for students to start re-engaging in some structured activities if they haven’t yet. This will help create opportunities for students to socialize and to separate from family members. If students are anxious about leaving home or doing more on their own, getting them engaged in safe and enjoyable activities can help serve as smaller exposures leading up to a full school day in the fall. If your child is very anxious about going to school or traveling, you might use some time during the summer to practice by taking a trip to school or walking around the neighborhood.
4. Re-establish routines.
During the pandemic, many routines may have fallen to the wayside. Many students increased their hours of screen time, exercised less, and may not have kept stable sleep schedules. All of these can impact how they feel and function.
It is always good to plan ahead. At least a few weeks before school, sit down with your child and prepare them with a schedule. This will provide an opportunity to talk about what might be different leading into fall (ex, less time on screens and more time on sports). We can also reasonably expect that students will be tired if they are not used to a full day of school with travel time so it is important to also allow for some down time. Think about any other important routines you want to preserve like family dinner time, etc.
5. Practice good self-care and good modeling.
There is a reason why flight attendants prompt adults to put their masks on before attending to their children on a flight. As adults, we must take care of ourselves so that we can take the best care of our children. It is important that we pay attention to our own physical and emotional health by maintaining healthy practices for sleep, nutrition, exercise, and social connectedness. This also sets a good example for our children. Similarly, children observe how adults cope with stress and adapt to changes. If you are planning upcoming changes to your schedule and routines, you can use those opportunities to share how you feel, think, and plan to adjust. For example, “I’ve gotten so used to working at home this year and now I’m going to go back to my office. I know I’m going to have to wake up earlier so I have enough time to get ready and travel. I’m really looking forward to seeing my colleagues again.”
6. Keep up with therapy.
Since the pandemic emerged, there has been a rise in anxiety and depression. Summers may be a time when students ask to meet with their therapists less frequently. If they are anxious about upcoming changes like returning to school, it is especially important for them to continue attending therapy consistently for support and coping skills. It is important to communicate any concerns you have and see if there is anything you can do to help support your child’s return to school. Similarly, please communicate any concerns you have about your child’s adjustment back to school to our clinical team so they can collaborate with you and your child’s outpatient treatment team.
7. Keep expectations realistic.
Whether your child is eager to return to a full time in-person school day or not, please expect that their initial weeks will be an adjustment. Our priority during this time will be to help your child re-engage with school. Helping them re-engage with school means that we want to support them as they get re-acclimated to following a schedule with routines, being part of a group, interacting with others, and being present in classes. All of this is necessary in order for learning to occur.
It is also important to remember that we aim for progress, not perfection. We can always build on progress. If your child is struggling in the morning and does not think they can make it to school, they do not need to make that decision in their most difficult moment. You can always give them some space, encourage them to practice coping skills or reach out to a therapist if available, or reach out to the school. We would rather have them attend school late versus not at all.
8. Encourage use of school-based supports.
Please remind your child of the supports available to them at Stevenson. They may visit our Counseling Center at any time throughout the school day for on-demand clinical support. Our clinicians also facilitate weekly student support groups that promote the use of healthy coping skills, healthy relationships, and planning for the future. Each year, students are given the choice to join a group. If you think your child would benefit from the added support of a group this year, you can encourage them to join one if they have not already. Additionally, Stevenson’s clubs and organized sports are excellent opportunities for students to make connections with peers, build their confidence, and explore interests.
As always, do not hesitate to reach out to us to discuss any concerns you have and we will work with you to develop a plan to support your child's transition.